Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Maybe I'll become a blogger yet...

Okay probably not but I can always aspire to be some deep thinker or hilarious internet personality right? Uh huh, sure.

Anyways, I started this blog as a way for me to post about all the amazing and life changing things that I was discovering and doing while I spent a semester in London. Since my last posting, ashamedly in April, many many things have changed. I've come back to the States, graduated with a BBS in Ministry, had an amazing internship at South Main Baptist Church all summer, and moved to the awe inspiring town know as Waco, TX to start seminary at Baylor University. Yes, I am being sassy, Waco is tiny and I miss London and Houston. PS, I've been living alone for the first time ever for 5 whole days and good news my friends, I don't want to fling myself off of the nearest building. I'm not exactly a fan of living alone but dare I say its getting better with every day, every new friend I make at school, and every silent prayer said. On Saturday when I was driving up to Waco alone I was nearly in tears but decided in that moment that I could look at the next 2 to 3 years of living alone as a season of lonely solitude or as blessing that would be filled with quiet sweet moments with my Savior. I'm choosing each day to be the latter.

I actually logged back on here to share quite an amazing story with you all and felt that this was probably the best way to document just how amazing my God is. So I'm in seminary and that basically means that I'm poor. Like really poor. BUT part of this amazing season in my life is seeing just how God will come through in real ways, He hasn't kept the loaf of bread on the counter mysteriously fresh or multiplied the frozen dinners in the freezer but oh my has He been gracious to me. It was just this afternoon that I was contemplating the declining balance in my checking account coming close to tears and hitting the refresh button on the "employment" tab on the seminary's web page when I remembered a conversation. This conversation was between Jerome Smith, Tallowood's youth minister, and myself well over a year ago when it was planted in me that I shouldn't take the easy way out of going to grad school in Houston but that I should listen to the guiding of the Spirit in all areas of my life. Hence my being in Waco at Baylor this year. But another thing that Jerome said came to mind, he said "We as ministers in the Body don't look for work in a way that any other profession does. Ministry isn't about sending out resumes and going on job interviews and if it does look like that I would run has far and as fast away from it as you can. Ministry is about waiting for God to lead, to open doors, to call you somewhere that He has already set aside for you." (Okay, so I'm paraphrasing but nonetheless those of you who know Jerome know that he is an amazing man of God who is that eloquent.) Upon remembering this conversation I wept and prayed to my Savior that I would wait until He called me somewhere, I would stop the mindless ministry job searching and just be content to wait on His timing. I thought that this meant that I would work retail or as a graduate assistant or some other work that wasn't directly in the church (Not to say that every single job and place of employment isn't a place for ministry every single day! It is!) After this grand revelation I felt an overwhelming sense of peace come over me, like everything would work out, like the God who made the heavens, who knows the stars and calls them by name was taking care of me.

I had gone out to dinner with Susan and Joe Womack and had shared this moment of clarity in the chaos of my life with them and was encouraged by their sweet presence. (Side note, Susan was the preschool minister at Tallowood for many years and retired to Waco about 4 years ago. Since I've been here, even less than a week, they have practically adopted me and made me feel so welcomed into their home and lives and I could not have asked for a better couple to want to invest in my life. Thank you both for your tremendous love for me. God knew I'd need a family here.)

Fast forward just 4 hours

I'm sitting at my kitchen table reading a textbook, just as I plan on spending the next 2 years of my life doing, and I get a text message from a friend saying that she's been on the phone with a new pastor in a nearby town and he is looking for a part-time children's minister. WHAT!?!? I couldn't help but laugh and literally say out loud "God, I don't know what You're up to but it's amazing!" I've known this pastor from Tallowood and he and his family are very old friends of the O'Quinn's. I know that once I gave up my need to find a job, to make some money, and to be in active ministry, once I was completely vunerable, that's when God said okay. Obedience and trust, it's what's best! After a little conversation with this friend I sent my resume off and will wait to see what God does next. Maybe I'll be the right fit for this body of believers, maybe not. Either way, I know that my God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him, that He has a plan for me that is to prosper me and not to harm me, that He has got the whole world in His hands.